My Mom Story

If you follow me on Instagram then you probably have seen that Will and I welcomed a new addition to our family a handful of weeks ago… so, I thought I’d tell you about it.

William “Liam” Ramirez Kelly born Wednesday, 20th May 2015 at 14:02 | 7lbs 11oz | 21.5 inches

When I was 35 weeks pregnant I had a scan confirming that I had Placenta Previa (a low-lying placenta) and so I had to have a cesarean section. I got the c-section date, and new due date, of May 20th. Honestly, I was really nervous about this. I had never had a surgery like this before and I wasn’t looking forward to the hospital stay; I knew I would just want to go home as soon as possible (nurses don’t make very good patients). I was worried about the recovery and being even more useless after having felt useless most of the pregnancy. Would I even be able to pick up my baby?? I also felt like I would be missing out on a womanly rite of passage. Where would my water break? How many expletives would I yell in a single push? How long would I be in labour? Would I be able to handle the contractions? So, many things I was expecting to go through, and quite honestly, was looking forward to going through them. Now, I wouldn’t get the chance.

Everything the morning of the 20th happened so slowly until my name was called to get prepped for the surgery. From that point on it was as if everything went into hyperdrive! We went upstairs to change into our gowns and then we were walked straight into the OR where the staff were waiting for me. The next thing I know I’ve got two IV’s in my hand, a needle in my back, and the staff are lifting my heavy legs onto the table. In no time Will is sitting by my side, I’m numb from the chest down, and a barrier is put up so I can’t see the surgeon at work. It was all getting so real so fast.

I’m not sure how long I thought it would take to hear my baby’s first cries but I think it took all of 1.3 seconds! He came out of the womb crying and as soon as I heard our baby I immediately started crying. See, the whole pregnancy I wondered how I could/would love someone I hadn’t even met yet! Will would talk to my belly every day telling our baby how much he loved it but I didn’t. I didn’t know how I felt towards our baby because I didn’t feel attached to it yet. It wasn’t until we got the cesarean date when I actually started to look forward to meeting our baby. I wondered who it would look like, me or Will? What would its cries sound like? Would I be able to breastfeed? Would it hurt? All of these questions made me eager to meet our little guy and get stuck into motherhood. But I still didn’t know how I felt towards our baby. At least not until I heard him cry. The minute I heard him cry I felt connected to him — I knew I loved him.

After Will came back from helping clean up Liam, we took a couple of selfies while the surgeon stitched me up. Then I was wheeled into recovery to get some blood, breast feed (which, surprisingly, doesn’t hurt like hell until later), and let our families know how it all went. I ended up in a private room on the ward – praise God! – and stayed for only two days.

Coming home with Liam was another overwhelming moment. Seeing him in our flat in his moses basket was too much for me to handle — we were all home! I went into the bathroom and cried. Will had followed me in there and held me as I repeatedly said how much I love our little boy.

The last 5 1/2 weeks with him have been an eye opening roller coaster. I am thirsty All. The. Time. We have an amazing community that loves us and loves our son. I am sooooo tired but don’t like naps. I’m not as useless as I thought I would be for as long as I feared I would be for. My hanger has gone to new levels. Our families are absolutely wonderful! My mommy brain is far worse than my pregnancy brain ever was. Liam is eating Like. A. Boss. I’ve realized exactly how bad I am at asking for help and accepting it. I want more kids! I have the greatest husband in the whole world! And I’m so in love with our son!

One thing I didn’t anticipate is how much I love being a mom. I was nervous that my selfish self would struggle with my new “ball ‘n chain” but I love it. I don’t mind that I can’t just up and leave or that Will and I can’t sit in a cafe for a few hours. None of that matters as much as they used to. Of course, the tiredness is soooooo intense sometimes and breastfeeding can hurt like a B and I struggle to put complete sentences together but I don’t mind it as much as i thought I would. I’m finding so much joy in being a mom – especially being Liam’s mom!

So, there you have it. My mom story!

Scotland Bucket List

Glencoe

I’m just NOW getting over my mild version of the flu. It’s been a rough couple of weeks. But Will and I are survivors so we persevered. We also may have self-medicated with fish ‘n chips three nights in a row and then had burgers with friends. Our bodies kinda love/hate us right now.

So, in the spirit of being sick and lazy I’d thought I make a Scotland bucket list. We have a few goodbyes to say in the coming months so we’ve been talking about Scotland bucket lists. Of course, Will and I have more than a few months left here, but I thought it would be a good idea to get started on it now so we’re not scrambling to fit it all in later. Though, I’m sure that in those last few weeks we’ll still be scrambling and trying to fit in as much of this wonderful place as possible!

So, here’s our Scotland bucket list. We’ll probably add to it as we think of more things.

  • Ride the Jacobite Train
  • Hike Binnean Niem Beann
  • Go on a whiskey tour (this one’s more for Will)
  • Road trip around Scotland
  • See more of the highlands
  • Go to the Orkneys
  • See Hadrian’s Wall
  • See more of the west coast

It doesn’t seem like much but it’s not that big of a country but a couple of these items are things I want to do again (highlands, Glencoe, and the west coast). We’ve been lucky enough to have done a lot already:

Autumn Bucket List

North Bridge, Edinburgh

Happy Monday, folks!!

How was your weekend? Did you do anything special for the last weekend of the summer? I did, I turned 31 and had a fantasticly lazy weekend!

Today marks the first official day of my FAVORITE SEASON (Autumn)!! I don’t know if it’s just me, but every year, when Autumn rolls around, I get really excited and start thinking of all of the things I need/want to get done. I don’t just want to complete unfinished projects but I start to feel more adventurous and want to explore more. So, here’s a bucket list for this season:

  • Carve some pumpkins
  • Eat seeds of said pumpkins
  • Visit friends in England
  • Host Thanksgiving dinner for friends and neighbors
  • Do/bake something nice for our neighbors
  • Print out and hang up new pictures for our flat
  • Hike the Pentlands
  • Go to a ceilidh
  • Clothing swap with friends
  • Hit up a few museums in the city
  • Finish making birthday/Christmas/baby shower gifts
  • Photo walk with Claire (we’ve been trying to do this since May)
  • Visit friends in St. Andrews
  • Check out the Christmas markets
  • Celebrate Will’s birthday
  • Be consistent with exercise (Will and I just started bodyweight training—ugh!)
  • Finish my capsule wardrobe (post to come)

How about you? Are there any things/traditions/outings in particular you’re excited about doing this season?

Café Love: Artisan Roast

I did it! I finally took some pictures of the best place in Edinburgh to get a cup of coffee (says the girl who doesn’t drink coffee).

So I’m no expert, but Will’s favorite coffee in Edinburgh is Artisan Roast. Hands down. It’s the highlight of his week when he buys his beans. They’ve had a bit of a reputation for being a serious place for coffee—maybe too serious… But they’ve been re-vamping their style. Before it was a bit too hipster, if you know what I mean. Like, there were burlap sacks decorating the walls—which you can still see in their back room—but it’s toned it down some. It’s much more welcoming to us normal folk. ;) There’s a location in Broughton, but usually we go to Bruntsfield. For us it has a neighborhood feel and is a great place to meet up with a friend over a really good cup of coffee.

Both shops are pretty cozy, but they have an open-plan vibe for more space, and you can watch the baristas at work. And if you’re lucky, or if Cambell’s working, you can get a lesson on how they brew your coffee just right.

Another cool thing about Artisan Roast is that they care about sustainability and creating long-term relationships with farmers. Their beans are fair-trade, organic, and/or part of the Rainorest Alliance certification scheme. Everything’s appropriate for the season and fresh throughout the year. Or that’s at least what Will tells me. ;)

138 Bruntsfield Pl, Edinburgh, City of Edinburgh EH10 4ER

57 Broughton St, Edinburgh EH1 3RJ